TOP 22 THINGS THAT WOULD MAKE THIS
WORLD A BETTER PLACE

1. If they wouldn't have killed JESUS.
2. If the Spice Girls would get BACK INTO PORN
3. If microwave popcorn didn't take so damn long.
4. If someone would catch that little pink Energizer bunny, Sodomize it & kill the fucking thing.
5. If everyone who works at the SATURN Car Company would take one of the cars & shove it up their friendly asses.
6. If XENA Warrior Princess ran around naked.
7. If the president would put together a team of terrorists to force SEINFELD to start doing shows again. (Come on, it's "A show about NOTHING", how hard can it be?)
8. If Kathie Lee Gifford would admit she's the Anti-Christ.
9. If Oprah had Jerry Springer, Montel Williams, Roseanne & Ricki Lake as guests, and killed them all & herself, and then killed Ricki Lake AGAIN!
10. If Judge Judy would sentence Judge Joe Brown, Judge Mills Lane, & herself to death.
11. If it was illegal for restaurants to hire idiots.
12. If Michael Jackson would admit he's a PEDOPHILE, and kill himself , ON T.V.
13. If John Denver had taken up flying LONG BEFORE music.
14. If Wendy's brought back the old "Where's the beef?!" woman.
15. If they would have let Ron & Nicole's families beat O.J. to death with his HEISMAN TROPHY.
16. If the government would let us see the ALIEN.
17. If all the people who make & appear in INFO-MERCIALS were killed.
18. If you didn't yawn EVERYTIME you saw someone else yawn.
19. If guys COULDN'T BE GAY & ALL WOMEN WERE.
20. If the government hadn't killed Kennedy & then pinned it on that John Wilkes Booth guy.
21. If Big Bird would peck Barney's eyes out & Oscar would hide the body in the dumpster.
22. If that guy hadn't hit John, when he shot at Yoko.


-Henkul